Often times we hear about confidence as something we need to have to find a spouse, get that raise at work, or even succeed in life, but do you know where it comes from?
While self-confidence plays an important role, it alone will not be enough to sustain any great relationship, whether it’s business or personal. It is a result of the level of esteem we hold for ourselves. Before we look at 3 simple ways to boost our self-esteem, let’s take a look at a quick breakdown of what it is.
Self Confidence is a Result of Self Esteem
Simply put, it’s trust – in ourselves and our abilities.
We have to start learning to believe in and trust our own potential. It’s being comfortable with yourself, and who you are.
If you fix cars, and are very good at it, it’s going to show up in your abilities and your actions.
It’s a common misconception in society today that looks and confidence go hand in hand.
You don’t have to look like a movie star to have confidence. Even the (beautiful) stars have problems, just like everyone else.
No one person out there deserves more self-respect than the next. Once you start to see this, and realize it, it makes feeling good about yourself much easier.
Confidence vs. Cocky
Now lets talk about arrogance.
A lot of times guys get confused with what it means to be confident.
It’s one thing to know you are good at something, and be proud of it – and another to brag, boast, or feel that you are better than someone because of it.
This is also known as being a “douche.”
Arrogance will only bring about the worst in your interactions with others.
If you find yourself behaving this way to make yourself feel better, it’s got to stop.
All you’re doing is filling up your self esteem with a temporary fix.
Take you’re run-of-the-mill “God’s gift to women” guy. You’ve seen him, we’ve all seen him.
His chin is up a little too high, chest puffed out a little too bit. Problem is, you can’t be all things to all women, so right from the get – in thinking that he’s the answer to every woman’s dreams – he’s wrong.
What does it for one person, may not for another.
Quick Steps to Enrich Your Esteem
What appears to be the difficult part about gaining confidence, for most, is spreading that same level of comfort and assurance into other areas of their lives (be it relationships, work, finances, etc.).
Like I mentioned above, one may be confident about his abilities to fix a car, then choke up altogether when a woman he admires walks into the room.
So here’s the rundown:
1) A great first step is to start working on all areas of life, not just the one’s we’re good at.
There are things we can do to become complete individuals and confident in many, if not all, areas of our lives. You have to make a conscious effort though, because it wont just happen for you.
This means working on all areas of yourself (physical and mental) and creating positive momentum.
2) Another great way is to volunteer your time and help others.
Giving to others not only helps out those in need but does a great thing for one’s self-esteem, in knowing that you’re making a difference in somebody’s life.
If you’re short on time, you can donate. Help out a friend in need, or even just lend an empathetic ear.
We spend a considerable amount of time thinking about ourselves and a little thought and effort towards someone else can really go a long way.
3) The third simple step to boosting self-esteem is committing to learning more about yourself.
Spend more time on developing your skills and disciplines than you do at work or the office.
In creating a better you, a better life comes from it.
Read the books and articles, experience new adventures in life, and expand your comfort zones.
Get some culture and a taste of what’s different. In doing so we can learn a great deal about ourselves and grow.
Obviously, there is much more to cover and numerous ways we can benefit ourselves, but these three points are practical and can be implemented in your everyday life with little to no extra effort.
Now I’d like to hear your thoughts. What are some things you do to feel better about who you are? What would be the number one concern you have when it comes to your own self-esteem?
Photo by Ruben Bos